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Classnote from Dr.French Jones 2004-12

I. Marriage--mutual understanding: opposite is misunderstanding

                  emotional intimacy: opposite emotional distance

                  connectedness: opposite is being disconnected, physical/emotional/spiritual intimacy

II. What is intimacy?

• when i am close, i know you in your presence..that is, to know facts about you.
• when i am intimate, i know myself in your presence..that is, to konw&experience myself in some new and different way WHEN i am with YOU.
• also, when i am intimate, i am free to be myself with you. Mostly I know myself in my dreams, goals, values, feelings; but with you it's intimacy!

III. Communication of what?

• facts...leads to a sense of being close.
• feelings..leads to oneness & mutual understanding.

IV. Males vs. Female bonding...

• bonding (connectedness) occurs differently for males than with females:
• males bond by doing activities together, females bond by sharing feelings together.

V. The challenge is..

• To value our mate and recognize that God created them in HIS image.
• to realize our mate is our most precious gift from God, apart from salvation.
• to not believe the lie that we know our mate..they are constantly changing.
• to create a climate at home to nurture our mate and their unique qualities
• to not let distractions take away from the precious minute we get to be with our partner each day..such as TV,phone,busyness.

P.S: before the wedding, opposite attracts, after the wedding don't do that!~ marriage is God's No.1 way of sanctification.